! written by u/Venomhart on 2013-07-02

I don't know what the operation was supposed to be. It was listed as a heart transplant, which should have been easy enough, but I think the doctor had Down's Syndrome or Parkinson's Disease or something. The first thing he did was flick a scalpel off onto the floor, grab a bone saw, sever a couple of arteries and get his watch stuck on the patient's rib cage. That was before he tried to remove the fragments of bone he'd created when he began bashing the rib cage with the bone saw.

After he dropped the bone saw, he picked up a syringe and began stabbing the patient with it, over and over, before he dropped it into the patient's chest cavity. For some odd reason, he thought it'd be a good idea to drop a coffee cup in the cavity too before trying for a good two and a half minutes to touch his thumb to all four of his fingers on his right hand. The patient was still bleeding profusely but the doctor insisted things were well under control.

"Shut up. I got this."

Well, after picking the pieces of bone out and casually throwing them onto the floor, as well as throwing the watch the doctor had dropped in the patient's chest cavity (not to mention the syringe and coffee cup) across the room, the doctor decided it was a good time to call it a day and stabbed the patient repeatedly with another syringe before using pieces of the patient's own rib cage to sever his heart and roll said heart off his torso onto the ground.

I'm not sure what to do anymore but I'm fairly sure I'm going to jail.