! written by u/Cartoonlad on 2014-11-06

It's a slow day again. Feels like nobody ever comes into the store, so when someone does, it's worth noting. And what walked through that door was damn near notable: a slender elf woman, wearing a fir bikini top and gigantic metal helmet with the horns. She's covered in blood, face and all. She doesn't appear to notice as she enters the shop.

Adventurer.

My father always warned me about those types. "Keep a close eye on anyone with a blade sharper than a butter knife," he said. "They'll pickpocket ya just as soon as they pay ya. Bunch of f'in' thieves." He should know. He used to be one of them, before the accident that gave him the limp.

The woman hasn't moved.

I put on my best smile and try to make some small talk. "Looking to protect yourself?" I jokingly inquire. Hang on. Maybe that's not her blood. Maybe someone else's. Maybe a whole lot of someone else's. A different approach, then: "...or deal some damage?"

She doesn't speak as she steps forward and starts piling weapons, armor, and more onto my counter. Swords taller than she is. Heavy suits of armor of all descriptions. An axe that's on fire. Iron daggers, a sword I'm certain that the Jarl used to own, some books of fiction and fact. The list goes on and on.

A sudden realization: I can sell this for twice, maybe four times the price I offer her. We're talking thousands in profit. There is now a pile of weaponry large enough that it devours my current stash of funds, down to nearly the last coin. She pauses, silently puzzling how to pry that last shiny coin from my purse. The blood-soaked woman takes out an apple, setting it gingerly atop the mound of armor and weapons she had stripped from the bandits and creatures she brutally murdered.

Yep, that'll do it. That's everything I've got. It will take me a little while to move all of this merchandise, but... Hang on again. I look down behind the counter at the notice pinned there. Whiterun. Twenty-three days ago. One apple, stolen from a market stall.

I look back at the apple.

Look down at the apple's description on the notice.

Mother.

Fucker.