! written by u/king_pumpernickel on 2014-08-26

I don't know exactly how to accurately describe what I just saw, so I'll keep it short and sweet. I was sitting on my recliner, winding down and watching the news in my condo in Los Santos. This place is a bumfuck shithole any day of the year but ever since late '13 it got so much worse. I don't expect to see much else other than explosions and helicopter crashes whenever I check Weazel.

This, however, probably took the cake. It started out pretty tame... for LS. A car chase, but the guys in the red muscle car must have had 30 cop cars, 10 SWAT vans and at least 5 police choppers on their ass at any given moment. They weren't amazing drivers either - every 10 seconds they seemed to slam into a lightpost or a tree, but then the cops would pile on until the car found another way out and kept driving. Your tax dollars at work, people.

The guys in the Gauntlet were a piece of work, though. The driver was some freak in a really creepy pig mask and what looked like a mechanic suit or some shit, and the obscenities he screamed when he crashed... I thought my lexicon was decent. The passenger seemed normal enough, aside from the homemade bombs he was tossing out the window of course. The next part is what really gets me.

There was another group that seemed to be chasing the cops themselves. A really high class Vinewood type driving an old shitty RV, swatting cops out of the way with careful maneuvers. He had a friend, too. Except this guy was on the roof of the RV. And I think he was dressed as a gay cowboy or something? He was humping the air furiously, and yelling BROKEBACK as loud and often as he could. How he didn't topple off and immediately get destroyed by the cops, I'll never know.

After a while, they drove up into the mountains and the cops kinda just forgot about them. Like what the fuck assholes, you have choppers with 50. caliber machine guns on the sides. Whatever. I'm sure they'll be back. Maybe I'll move to Sandy Shores, seems quiet enough. Some guy named Trevor is posting for a roomate... pretty cheap too, so we'll see how it goes.